wow, this movie was made sloppily and cheaply, like a bigger budget b-movie (supposedly it cost $160 mil.!), it was soon apparent that we're in for a sorry-looking ride, i'm afraid (almost) no praising this time
some funny/silly moments:
*spoilers ahead*
- married scientists 'get it on' only on their birthdays
- all actors, even the little kid went to the school of constipated acting (or was it the radiation effects?)
- white scientists lead, japanese with respect & honor lower their eyes in subordinated following?
- obvious errors at least 3x in a row: wife running behind the group, then in front of the group
- door takes ages to close, speeding smoke takes ages arrive, wife & co. become super-sprinters in the end, there's no one down there to close the only critical door in the whole plant, wife removes mask: i want you to remember me by my radiation burns, dear!
- if expecting lethal radiation, thin jackets should be enough
- super durable floppy? disks, lasting 6+ years in the open, nice!
- trending exponentially? and you get something like a bell-curve instead
- somehow some storage room becomes also an interrogation room equipped with a one-way mirror inside of a power-plant!
30'
- electromagnetic pulses (EMPs) can send you back to the stone age? but not the first time, only in the 2nd wave 6+ years later (turns out they only shut the electric power down for a few seconds till the backup comes online)
- you can drain 3 reactors 'dry' in a matter of seconds with 0 radiation leakage? muto sure knows his nucular bong well
- kill it with lightning bolts? cannot drill through an egg (shaped like a claw?) in 6+ years?
- a large earthquake should devastate the area but somehow it appears outside of this restricted zone so that the news crews can film it?
- the medical reviving procedure on the main scientist in the chopper, as if they have adequate medical equipment in there!
- so the muto constantly emits EMPs but no one notices anything except the military
- the control room on the carrier has multiple doors with no security and some doors are ordinary, while others are made of metal!
- so they want the main scientist's son to help them and his particular expertise is explosives disposal... but there is no explosives in this movie, just muto's
- so the military was trying to kill godzilla for many years in the 50s with nuclear weaponry and godzilla never came out of the water to defend himself nor has any civilian seen him throughout that period, nor does he hold a grudge towards the humans
- how can you consume radiation?
- project monarch sounds familiar, like an actual conspiracy theory
- 'a top of a primordial ecosystem' - a what, atop? the reason being: because he is...big? thats a god? a big animal/monster? roflmao
- spores kill giant gods, i mean, mutos who were feeding off of radiation from the earth's core - now this spore needs radiation and the closest source is a 1000 miles away in a miniscule nucular reactor, nowhere near the earth's core? it smells radiation from a sealed plant?
- then spores feed for 15 years on nuclear power-plant fuel (you know, the rods), no one notices anything (like chewed-on or missing rods) and then they grow into bigger spores? no, into giant mutos, again!
- how do you predict an EMP attack from an unknown thing inside of a stone-like egg that absorbs radiation and causes small earthquakes?
45'
- the main scientist's son briefly saw one book in his father's study and that was the key clue to continue the search?
- completely pointless 'save the kid in the subway' scene!
- somehow usa forces know about missing russian nucular submarines, in real time, russians told them where to look for it!
- somehow the usa priorities become ever stranger: you know how they 2x nuked japanese civilians for weak official reasons and no particular threat (retreating jap. forces, end of the war), now they are somehow concerned about a million people on an island whereas the whole world is at stake (when the muto comes a-knocking)?
- somehow the muto is silently jerking around, waiting for the soldiers to arrive so that he can be filmed when he starts eating the reactor contents (you know, smelling it from a sealed submarine)
- did you notice how that army guy keeps touching that japanese kid? japanese kids cannot control themselves when they see american toys
- in order to fight a giant muto, you send a swat team on a nearby hotel, equipped with light weapons only
- little girls aren't crying (like little girls) when a huge tidal wave approaches and hundreds of people around scream in panic
- wow, light outer hotel doors & glass-window lobby can keep a tsunami out
- godzilla creates tidal waves while swimming, strong enough to devastate a city, but not when swimming close to a military carrier, nothing can be felt as he passes by (ok, ok, pencils were rolling out of control in a later scene)
- hawaii sure has some kickass electrical grid, no EMP or tidal wave hurts them, it takes 10 sec. tops to get back online from a full unplanned shutdown - yeah, wonders of technology, gotta love it
- oh i see, gotta save the kid a few more times, whereas those mutos must be able to smell our main characters too as they keep miraculously bumping into each other (actors leaking radiation much too?)
- that big muto looked like someone forgot (or didn't pay for) an anti-aliasing module, to smooth out those awkward/jagged edges
- muto can knock-out flying objects via EMP yet they still attack through the air and come in very close too
- thats it, muto looks like a flying cockroach between shaky-cam spasms, and godzilla reminds of a big ape-faced monster
- a woman worried about her husband makes one phone call & no checks for messages/voice-mail? she doesn't know what (adult) channel her little kid is watching?
60'
- wow, the giant battle was reduced to a few seconds of tv news footage! way to save a few
- parents keep losing their kids in this movie (the japanese couple, the beach couple, our military guy)
- why are these scientists dressed like they are expecting rain?
- so if you vivisect a spore, it doesn't complain? remains dormant instead
'vivisection - the practice of subjecting living animals to cutting operations, esp. in order to advance physiological and pathological knowledge.'
a pathologically ignorant way of increasing knowledge, remember how some schools force their students to cut-up animals for sport, i mean education? oh well, at least they got the 'increasing knowledge' part right
- nucular waste disposal sites are left completely unmonitored? muto comes out just in time when they are looking for him? and then he goes off gambling in order to get enough money to buy more radiation?
- so you can get a far bigger muto if you cut him open and let him use depleted radioactive material as opposed to the one on a 15-year full-cream nucular juice/milk diet?
- you can guess the sex of a muto from looking at news footage
- now you have animal mating calls from dormant spores waiting to grow up?
- nuclear warheads leak radiation? this movie is seriously leaking from that one radioactive brain cell left
- soldiers without any protection accompany leaking warheads, no time i guess, gotta take a leak somewhere else
- i'm not sure if its due to pausing the movie, but you don't really get any feeling of this being a disaster movie, there's no real excitement/suspense, even in action scenes
- damn, the japanese scientist is still constipated, just don't shout goooo-jira! too loudly or he will burst!
- so they want to detonate close to the San Andreas fault line? nice going
- so they ride on a train with nukes, yet have no communication with check-points along the way and no one is securing the tracks up ahead?
- sgt. morales with low morale?
- huge muto hiding in the dark until our actors come along? almost no sounds from this huge beast
- where are you ford? not in detroit anymore
- hunting radioactive beasts with radioactive weapons is like throwing sandwiches at enemies
- if you want to keep a kid safe, stand in front of the road with him - things tend to pop up from out of nowhere in this movie
- the vehicles & buses (with kids ofc) are stopped on the bridge why exactly? the carrier commander sees only buses on the bridge? and his order is to keep things as they are?
- ooh, gojira save kiddie... but it was only a coincidence, also, whats up with those bus driver stunts? own team!
- pretty annoying music during bridge battle scenes
90'
- so now muto has to hold on to the warhead for 1,5h without tasting that juicy radioactive cookie?
- what was that... muto intercourse left for the rated version?
- mutos keep finding japanese people on american territory throughout the movie, is that some kind of a message? mess or mingle with the americans, either way you get the radioactive treatment?
- and a little philosophy:
"the arrogance of man is thinking nature is in our control and not the other way around"
hehe, man is a part of nature, not outside of it
man doesn't have his own life in control, let alone someone else's and controlling the rest of nature is a futile attempt anyways, just more foolishness and ignorance
besides, the proper goal is to research nature in order to understand it, not control it - oh well, at least they got the 'research' part right
- that attempted running scene was funny... wait a minute, they messed/missed the fight again!
- oh, the trailer scene - more than a dozen jumpers in fake flying scenes and we see only one landing in an empty street... cheap!
- again no sound from the monsters until we look at them
- such a mighty shout, barely blows a few balloons away
- fight, fight! nope, back to the soldiers who open a wooden door into muto's lair - there is his cookie, with a muto factory grown in less than an hour (big animals don't multiply well nor fast!)
- hehehe atomic breath was pretty good but ineffective
- looks like both the military guy and godzilla need attention from a nurse
- not a bad finishing blow by godzilla, but, did he just faint there?
- 5 min. is not enough to escape from a nuke!
- a pointless detonation, 2 (super)heroes fainted, the biggest hero so far is the constipated (and subordinated) scientist, lame!
- also, wasn't this a nucular detonation, with radiation & all?
- the kid speaks! also, someone was messing with the audio, muting it occasionally
- godzilla looks like he has been putting on some weight... in the wrong places, no wonder he appeared in the movie, he needed this exercise badly
- not a bad ending
the good? i kinda had fun watching this silliness
the bad? a little less typing wouldn't hurt
the ugly? cgi & action (got better towards the end) or what happened after all those irradiated constipated actors finally relieved themselves... not even a muto with a massive radiation craving would go over those leftovers hehehe
the factual? the 1998 version is still much more enjoyable than this one
Bookmarks