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Thread: Things we learn from porn

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    Talking Things we learn from porn

    • Nurses suck off their patients.
    • The average penis is ten inches long.
    • Ten seconds of cunnilingus are more than enough.
    • Impotence? Premature ejaculation? What's that?
    • If a stranger catches a woman masturbating, not only does she not start shouting, but insists to have sex with him.
    • Women smile happily when men fill their faces with cum.
    • Women love to get in bed with ugly, middle-aged men.
    • Women scream uncontrollably when they suck it.
    • A blowjob always saves a woman from a speeding ticket.
    • After orgasm, it's important to tap a woman's butt or face with your semi-limp penis.
    • Men always say "oh yeah" when they cum.
    • Double penetration makes women smile.
    • Asian males do not exist.
    • If you catch a guy and his girlfriend on the job, he doesn't punch you in the face when you stick your penis in her mouth.
    • If a woman finds you in bed with her best friend, she gets a little angry, but ends up joining you two.
    • Women don't know what a headache is, let alone "that time of the month".
    • Asses are always squeaky-clean and have no hair.
    • Women always look pleasantly surprised when they unzip a man's pants and find (oh, surprise!) a dick!
    "Come visit sometime, okay? We'll always be here for you. We... we all love you."
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    ozymandis (05.06.15) , yoco (28.05.15)

  3. #2
    Ten seconds of cunnilingus are more than enough.
    I love a good licking.

    Impotence? Premature ejaculation? What's that?
    There are so hooked up on pills and drugs that they can stay in errect for a whole day.
    Porn studios have their own doctors that they use to fix problems that occur during porn sessions.

    Women don't know what a headache is, let alone "that time of the month".
    Same as above, also they use sea sponges. You can't even tell if you've hit the vagina walls or sea sponge.

    Women love to get in bed with ugly, middle-aged men.
    Money always offered oppurtunities. Women are very materialistic creatures.
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    Advanced User yoco's Avatar
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    That was hilarious
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    Quote Originally Posted by Master Razor View Post
    There are so hooked up on pills and drugs that they can stay in errect for a whole day.
    Porn studios have their own doctors that they use to fix problems that occur during porn sessions.
    "'What happens,' I asked, 'when a co-star can't get hard?' The fiasco used to be the nemesis of porno. A penile no-show could make the difference between profit and loss. But the situation has been changed, I was told, thanks to Viagra. On Viagra, the actor performs 45 minutes behind schedule, with a flushed face and a headache. 'You also lose a dimension,' John Stagliano would explain. 'The guy's fucking without being aroused.'"

    Money always offered oppurtunities. Women are very materialistic creatures.
    Or maybe being a male pornstar isn't such a dream job, and only the Ron Jeremies manage to pull it off.
    "Come visit sometime, okay? We'll always be here for you. We... we all love you."
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    When I was a little boy I looked at a cunt in the pron mag and thought :What is this intricate thing with skin folds and meat , what does it mean?!
    Later on I looked at porn mags and movies and with the help of the anatomy manual I found out about the many components of the cunt or vulva but folds were so mixed with the fleshy stuff(mucosa) that I still couldn't figure out what part was the hymen(leftovers ) and where does it end and when the urinary meatus begins and with the folds and with the fleshy stuff .
    Little by little the cunt became less of a mystery , now I know that even if the clit is small ... you'll find it.
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    Sazzy (29.05.15)

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    Elite Asteroids Champion, Bubble Bobble Champion, Alien Commander Champion, 1992 Champion, Alien Invasion 2 Champion hellman's Avatar
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    Can't say about porn but real life experience tells that porn is bullshit & non sense..
    Tutorials one should read\
    1. The ultimate weapon- Waffles method
    2. Categorized tutorial list

    My buddies
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    5.MASTER RAZOR( Advance TECHNO DUDE )
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    Quote Originally Posted by hellman View Post
    Can't say about porn but real life experience tells that porn is bullshit & non sense..
    And I was just about to quit my job to become a pizza delivery boy cable repairman Pilates instructor
    "Come visit sometime, okay? We'll always be here for you. We... we all love you."
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    ozymandis (05.06.15)

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    Quote Originally Posted by hellman View Post
    Can't say about porn but real life experience tells that porn is bullshit & non sense..
    Yea they don't have the budget for writing and directing and other things but most of the stuff is just naked dicks and cunts shaking and rubbing and squirting , it might be smelly and nasty but it's not bullshit ...now the scat thing is something else.
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    Things we learn from porn
    first thing is that no women seem to be posting here?
    other thing is that it makes men imagine what they see so they want to make it real.

    True stories of what I've done and learned; from the social world of pornalized Homo Sapiens.

    Nurses suck off their patients.
    My women of ten years is a maid. Doesn't sound glamorous and she doesn't want to suck off her male bosses. But she has a special maid's outfit for me at home, or cooks naked -- then it's like the nurse...


    The average penis is ten inches long.
    I'm below average


    Ten seconds of cunnilingus are more than enough.
    Doesn't work for me.


    Impotence? Premature ejaculation? What's that?
    Impotence I have this after a 10 kilometer run, or a three day mountaineering trip with just few hours sleep. The wet dream gives me unpleasant (i.e. Premature ejaculation) as I sleep, but a few hours later I'm good... So the problems are temporary and part of life the women you know well understand and have fun with to tease.


    If a stranger catches a woman masturbating, not only does she not start shouting, but insists to have sex with him.
    My best friends sister was like a stranger to me so I thought it was a bad idea, so I didn't...


    Women smile happily when men fill their faces with cum.
    My women likes this, on the tits or asks me to spray and decorate her. She does smile.


    Women love to get in bed with ugly, middle-aged men.
    I work hard to stay fit and young but I hope it will be true if "ugly, middle-aged men" happens to me.


    Women scream uncontrollably when they suck it.
    Most of the time they can't as the mouth is too full.


    A blowjob always saves a woman from a speeding ticket.
    Haven't seen it work yet. My women worked at escort service back in years and this kind of action led to a huge police ticket, lawyers, judges and court dates. Her co-worker Gina tried too but just led to a drug search of the car. In both these cases the speeding ended up the least of the problems.


    After orgasm, it's important to tap a woman's butt or face with your semi-limp penis.
    If I slap her kind of hard with it she laughs, but wonders if it's painful.


    Men always say "oh yeah" when they cum.
    Not always.


    Double penetration makes women smile.
    I don't like too close to another mans dick. My woman blowjob the Asian guy, said his dick was too small, so sucked my dick right after made her smile. But her ass and pussy makes her smile with a dildo and my dick is OK with me.


    Asian males do not exist.
    See above.


    If you catch a guy and his girlfriend on the job, he doesn't punch you in the face when you stick your penis in her mouth.
    Hana did it with her boyfriend so I think I would catch her on purpose, this and seemed to like it. I didn't as he seemed he didn't want me around. She afterwards came to me and told me her boyfriend had X number of sperm in his semen, showed me her tits and walked away...


    If a woman finds you in bed with her best friend, she gets a little angry, but ends up joining you two.
    Thing is it wouldn't be a secret with the woman I have. She'd be angry if I didn't let her know ahead. We nearly roasted as it was in a sauna not a bed.


    Women don't know what a headache is, let alone "that time of the month".
    For the headache she takes sumatriptan, headache gone 20 minutes. The other thing has to run its course.


    Asses are always squeaky-clean and have no hair.
    Not always.


    Women always look pleasantly surprised when they unzip a man's pants and find (oh, surprise!) a dick!
    It's not the surprise of the dick but the surprise of imagining to do it than actually doing it that makes the women's look.


    So that's the reality of porn for me, it happens to me as a great imagining in the pornalized social world. My women is for 10 years and more to come I believe as life, and love is not porn but freedom in expression and creativity if you can handle it.
    Application error: warning -> battery failure imminent ~ shutting down NOW permanent == message to Earth -- finalized shudown code ... 6ikf9849l+!~:'?.|\
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  13. #10
    Little by little the cunt became less of a mystery , now I know that even if the clit is small ... you'll find it.
    That's a very important lesson if life.

    I call dibs on Olivia Wilde. Her vagina died you know Olivia Wilde laments that her 'vagina died' comments turned up in print after Joe's Pub event | Daily Mail Online
    Wonder what it feel to have/own a dead vagina
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  14. #11
    Last edited by Sazzy; 28.06.15 at 21:27.
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    tr-cht-fx-242p (29.06.15)

  16. #12
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    "Come visit sometime, okay? We'll always be here for you. We... we all love you."
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    tr-cht-fx-242p (29.06.15)

  18. #13
    what is porn?
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    "Come visit sometime, okay? We'll always be here for you. We... we all love you."
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  20. #15
    I was always in love with girls that never actually liked me, or cared for me. But I did love them so and you can get so blind in love.
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