"Member vs Registered User" v2

[hellman]

There's always some sort of weird sexual tension between men and women, though. Maybe not right away, but it creeps in eventually.
Only 2 weeks ago, a guy I considered a normal friend got angry at me because I told him that Lana proposed to me and I said yes. Apparently, he liked me too and waited until now to say so.

I guess it's somewhat different with you guys since you live so far away. You're not even remotely thinking about f*cking since it's not gonna happen anyway and it's clear to both parties.

i seriously don't know how u manage to get a guy like that always but every guy is not like that. I have many female friends and 1 of them is my friend from the last 10 years so never been a problem like that here.

Now Lets take your scenario .. Imagine if i was your friend and i loved u and all of a sudden u told me that u love lana and u said yes to here and going to marry her. i would've just congratulated and kept that a secret. Angry? no way. Besides if he was angry at u, he didn't loved u at all. He was just attracted towards u and was thinking about sex.

All men r not pigs just like all girls r not sluts n bitches

[Sazzy]

I know, I know. But I just have very little male friends where the tension is not present. It's a bit sad.
Anyway, it wasn't all of a sudden, I've been seeing Lana for quite a while now and he obviously knew (I even met him after I met her)

[anon]

Now Lets take your scenario .. Imagine if i was your friend and i loved u and all of a sudden u told me that u love lana and u said yes to here and going to marry her. i would've just congratulated and kept that a secret. Angry? no way.

Agreed. I would be happy for you if I were in his place. You're getting married, after all. That's a higher level of commitment than "no dawg, I'm already seeing someone else", not one you'd take lightly.

Related thread: http://www.sb-innovation.de/showthre...threadid=23126

Semi-related video:

[Instab]

I just have very little male friends where the tension is not present

that's just normal. mixed gender friendships are a thin line and the vast majority i've seen were biased. meaning that one of the two is into the other more or less.
many kinds of attraction are included in friendships. even same gender, non-gay friendships do require that the other guy or girl is somehow appealing. people that aren't in at least some way "attractive" just don't exude much sympathy. most of that happens subconsciously but it is there nevertheless.

[anon]

even same gender, non-gay friendships do require that the other guy or girl is somehow appealing. people that aren't in at least some way "attractive" just don't exude much sympathy.

True. When family or friends praise my skills or personality (yes, you read that right, it's not a typo) during conversation, I like to mess with them by asking "does that mean that if I didn't know/have that, I'd be useless?". Then they rush to say no and manufacture an extended answer, not realizing they actually mean "yes" and that's fine, because that's how reality works.

People must have things that you want to make them worth associating with. I'm not talking about money, power or whatever (and by themselves, those are usually the wrong reasons); a cool personality, good humor, relevant skills, self-confidence, amount for just as much. If someone does not have those, we'll rightly think of them as bland and uninteresting. Harsh, but that's how it is.

"'What, so you're saying that I can't get girls like that unless I have a nice job and make lots of money?' No, your brain jumps to that conclusion so you have an excuse to write off everyone who rejects you by thinking that they're just being shallow and selfish. I'm asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world?" -- 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person | Cracked.com

"You cannot love everyone; it is ridiculous to think you can. If you love everyone and everything you lose your natural powers of selection and wind up being a pretty poor judge of character and quality. If anything is used too freely it loses its true meaning." -- The Satanic Bible

[Sazzy]

a cool personality, good humor, relevant skills, self-confidence, amount for just as much. If someone does not have those, we'll rightly think of them as bland and uninteresting. Harsh, but that's how it is.

Sometimes, I can't but feel like my skillset (mostly) attracts people I am not interested in and apparently is not quite interesting to people I would like to attract!
First world problems

[anon]

apparently is not quite interesting to people I would like to attract!

I have that problem too, a.k.a. the "he works with computers" syndrome. But at least I get paid for it

Strangely enough, I'm also happy because a very hefty chunk of my knowledge comes from past freeform learning (lots of free time + unlimited high-speed Internet = me), which has now proven itself to be totally worth it.

[Sazzy]

I have that problem too, a.k.a. the "he works with computers" syndrome. But at least I get paid for it

My issue is mostly that I'm over-the-top obsessed (perhaps even unhealthy, but I like to call it passionate!) with my not-so-very-social hobbies, and I have real issues finding people that are the same way.
I have no problems finding people that share my hobbies, but they're often not obsessed enough nor willing to input the needed time to be able to keep up with me.

The obsession has gotten bad enough that people that do not share this, often seem rather dull to me. I don't understand anymore how some people can "love" doing something, but aren't willing to spend the time in discovering all the little aspects of the subject at hand.
I have two collegues that are on the same level of obsession as me (or actually, even worse), and I absolutely adore those guys.

I'm not that person that can only talk about one single subject, but at the same time, other subjects often just don't cut it. I partake in the conversation, but find myself bored rather quickly. Funny enough, I have never talked about it even once on here! :)
At the same time, my hobbies are not enjoyable to talk about either, as most people can't seem to keep up with the convo at hand. Or mostly just don't care.


Though in the end, the "he works with computers" syndrome could be the same issue, I guess!!


And when I finally do find someone that can keep up, or is at least willing to spend the needed time, they apparently always fall in love with me and screw everything up! Every single time, so far..

Strangely enough, I'm also happy because a very hefty chunk of my knowledge comes from past freeform learning (lots of free time + unlimited high-speed Internet = me), which has now proven itself to be totally worth it.

Having thought it through, I think about 85% of my knowledge was obtained from freeform learning (and obsessing). The last 15, I picked up in school.

[anon]

Stuff

I guess life does imitate art. A romantic comedy, in your case. Definitely a Zooey Deschanel flick.

[Sazzy]

I guess life does imitate art. A romantic comedy, in your case. Definitely a Zooey Deschanel flick.

I really like Zooey!

Though I'm not sure why my life is a romantic comedy

[anon]

Though I'm not sure why my life is a romantic comedy

Dorky, geeky girls are hawt. The concept of resisting that almost doesn't exist for us. That's why all your friends fall for you But you don't actually want that! It's almost the plot for one such movie, if you ask me.

[hellman]

The concept of resisting that almost doesn't exist for us.

agreed ........

[Sazzy]

lol, you guys are all weirdos

[slikrapid]

"You cannot love everyone; it is ridiculous to think you can. If you love everyone and everything you lose your natural powers of selection and wind up being a pretty poor judge of character and quality. If anything is used too freely it loses its true meaning." -- The Satanic Bible

actually you can love everyone & everything if you love their essence, which is what you share with all of them
true meaning of things cannot be lost, it is a part of what they are
concluding about the difference without knowing the essence leads to all kinds of errors (like calculating without knowing the underlying rules)

lavey is talking about the superficial level of things, just like his own religion/teaching was based on simply inverting that which he did not like (a man 'standing upside down' does not negate the man in a normal standing position)

life does imitate art.

and why?
because art already imitates life (and everything around us is some kind of life)

[anon]

actually you can love everyone & everything if you love their essence, which is what you share with all of them

It's not really their essence you have to deal with, though

true meaning of things cannot be lost, it is a part of what they are

True. But what he means is that the true meaning will be lost to you (temporarily and reversibly, at least), because you'll have forgotten/misrepresented it.