In the beginning, there was The Seal. Some called him a god, others naught. There were some claiming he was begun from a nexus. Others claimed he was plexus.
It was naught known who or what SEal was. For he remained a mysterious light to those who would leech.
Yet that Seal-god also had many a friends. There was the one who would not reveal himself. For he remained Anonymous.
And there was the one who would drive. For he would drive what he held good unto himself.
And there was the one who would Bound himself Away from others. For he would always come back to those whom had cast him Away from them.
And there was the one who was V. For he was mysterious to them who would befriend him. Yet a friend he was to those whom would leech with him.
There were also many others who would leech that cannot be named here. For this legend could not hold them all by name.
And yet, there were also many who would slay those who did leech. And they slew them mercilessly. Those who would slay, slew with a strong vengeance. They were the most feared who would not leech away from those. Those who were feared, were known as
THE ADMINISTRATORS.
For they also challenged that SEal-god. Yet they would not catch hold of him.
One day, those ADMINISTRATORS enticed that Seal-god with a prize he could not deny himself. They sent him a messenger to come to those ADMINISTRATORS who would slay that Seal-god and his friends with pungent perfumes of intestinal side effects.
They presented him a golden vixen
For that sEal-god did see she was golden and beautiful. Yet she was clever and did try to entice him to swim in that pool of rich and age'd vodka: To drown him his thoughts away from Leech.
Yet the Seal did see their ways and did not let himself be enticed to their crazed ways and drink of merriment.
For the Seal did challenge the ADMINISTRATORS to a battle of strong leech.
The ADMINISTRATORS, seeing this great opportunity, knew that Seal was weak in battling monsters of machines.
They made unto themselves a machine and commanded it to leech dry that Seal. To make punishment unto him and have him see how his strong leech made them feel.
For they would always cry for more donations to themselves over their servants who refused to cheat the ADMINISTRATORS.
Yet Seal cared not for those lowly ADMINISTRATORS. For he knew in secret that many of them would devour strong drink onto themselves on Sunday afternoons.
They rebuffed him more strongly and sent to Seal that Red Machine who would transform itself into strange designs,
The machine and that great and terrifying Seal battled an hundred days in the twilight of heat. Stirring dust and storm. Making much noise that the whole world did'st hear of.
In this battle, Seal did'st send out his only Weapon: his Great Greed. And he slew that machine that did transform itself, with such strength of Greed, that it did not stand chance against such strong Greed.
Some were 'fraid for that Great SEal. That he did exhaust his Greed and had none left to challenge those comely and uncouth Administrators.
Yet it was the Seal that shewed unto them slothful Administrators how cowardly they would be. For he shewed them that he would cheat their places.
He would leech them behind darkness wherefore they could not see him.
Amongst the many who would take from others who did share, yet that Seal did leech much. For his Greed knew not when to quit.
Those Administrators did send out one other challenger to Seal. For he was believed to be strong in catchment of others.
He was known to those as Gazelle.
Some secretly believed that Gazelle would catch others, yet that Seal knew no fear. For he was cunning that even he did beat Gazelle many a time before.
Yet, those Administrators did have one that was renewed in strength and challenged Seal once more.
Yet again, SEal took to arms with his mind, and challenged that Great and Beautiful Gazelle again to strength of challenge.
It was a battle like none before. For Seal was entranced by Gazelle's sight, yet that Seal did prevail and sent its tail scurrying away to netherworld.
He gave it, his last strength of Greed and and showed it what he could do.
That Gazelle was amazed at Seal and did''st not know from whence came its great Greed. Yet that SEal would tell it naught.
He now proceeded to the Administrators and did'st leech them hard.
He shouted out to those who did make others Pay with their Pal:
For in this day, though has't been leeched to such Great Strength of Greed, that this day, though has't remembered that thou is't only women, naught men.
For the Administrators had naught left of donations from their servants who did pay them always.
That great Seal did leech them of all their worth and renewed himself in that which would sooth his ears.
Now that SEal returned unto his friends who did leech from their lair and held such a great Fest of Leech and would tell others how cheat-ment does occur unto them Administrators.
And such was a legend known. That Seal did'st make many more Greedful of Leech, yet such was good and godly unto those who did make enjoyment of it.
That SEal was now content, yet did 'st shew them Administrators that his Great Greed had limitless bounds and did'st not care or have regard to thier places.
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I personally found this one even funnier than the last one - keep it up! 
Originally Posted by SealLion
And thanks to SB-I the first led is also green on the trackers' side 
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