NSFW !!!!!!!!!
Joystick Division - The Top Ten Sexiest Video Game Commercials (Super NSFW)
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Okay, so this list is unabashedly done to please this blogger. Let's just say the Editor-in-Chief owed me a favor, so he let me do a list about whatever I so desired. Very obviously, I chose one that would be very fun to research. So, I bring you a list of the video game commercials that incorporate the most hotness per frame.
Despite it being selfish, we all hope you can find some enjoyment in scanning nearly a dozen extra-sexy video game commercials. They are all pretty good -- luckily, the marketing and advertising folks in the game industry know what their core market responds to, and have exploited it thusly. Please have some fun, and if you are at work, wait until you get home! Or until the boss leaves!
10. F.E.A.R 2: Project Origin
The F.E.A.R franchise doesn't get marketed very well. I don't really even remember the commercials for the first game, the second game and the add-ons flew under the radar, and the F.E.A.R. 3 ads use WAY too much live-action to do anybody any good. But there's always an exception to the rule. And this is that exception.
9. Metroid Prime 2: Reconstructing The Suit
Probably the most tasteful trailer on this list, this shows a strikingly beautiful Samus being clad from the feet up in her iconic suit. There's a lot of "hugging" in this video, and it reminds us of why we think Samus is so flipping fine.
8. WWE Smackdown vs Raw 2008 Wii
Okay, okay, what's the deal Nintendo. With the Wii, weren't you supposed to be catering to a broader, more mainstream audience? Doesn't the Wii even have a sticker on it that says "For ages 8-80" or whatever, like all those old Milton-Bradley board games? Considering racy Nintendo Wii commercials take up nearly 1/3 of this list, one could hazard a guess that the Nintendo Wii is actually marketed, specifically, to 13-19 year olds. But hey, that's fine with us as long as videos like this continue to circulate.
7. Nintendo Wii LittleBig Ladies
I don't know what the official name of this video is, but it is a super sexist, very un-P.C. take on the Mac commercials that typically feature the ultra-hip Justin Long and schlubby John Hodgman. But this time it has a roamy brunette chick and a skinny, overenthusiastic blond chick talking about how sexy and awesome the Wii is compared to the PlayStation 3. And I almost believe them.
6. Saint's Row 2: Tera Patrick Dev Diaries
Yeah, in porn star years, Tera Patrick is the same age as Betty White, but damn does she carry it well. We don't even get much boob in this video, but the First Lady of Porn oozes seduction. This Saint's Row 2 video is, well, just that -- seductive. By mixing two of the most important visual stimuli of my formative years (Tera and video games), this trailer perfectly shows how sex sells. And how good Tera Patrick is at selling said sex.
5. Guitar Hero: World Tour With Heidi Klum
Let's just get this out of the way: Heidi Klum is a pretty lady. Watching a few minutes of her dancing around in her undies is way awesome, and no one around here would complain if this video was an hour long. But, if your commercial features the tunes of Bob Seger, there's no way it can land any higher than fifth. He just makes things less sexy.
4. Banned Serena Williams Ad
Didn't think Serena Williams was all that bomb before this ad went viral. But, from it, I learned three things: she is mad hot, she could definitely kick my ass, and she would look incredibly sexy kicking my ass. As a matter of fact, "Get Serena Williams to kick my ass" is now at the very top of my sexual fantasy bucket list. How I'll manage making that happen, well, that's for a different post entirely.
3. MX vs ATV Untamed Carwash Trailer
I don't even remember this game, but I remember this trailer. Featuring two soapy ladies goofing off in a tub. What more could one ask for? Well, maybe three soapy ladies goofing off in a tub. (Note: is it funny that this game is rated E for Everyone, and yet this video is, um, well not.)
2. Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Shower Trailer
Don't complain that this one is animated. Sideboob is sideboob, regardless of if it is real or not and Oncechanbara showcases a lot of sideboob in this shower-laden video. Actually, I ranked these videos exclusively on how much profile-tit they brought to the table. As you can see, Onechanbara did well in that department.
1. Wii Fit Balance Boarding Playmate
Words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words, words. I know commentary is totally unnecessary for this one. It absolutely speaks for itself. Yeah, we know it's not an official commercial. Shut up.
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