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anon
17.04.09, 23:58
ACTUAL PRODUCT INSTRUCTIONS:

ON A HAIRDRYER:
*Do not use while sleeping.

ON A BAG OF FRITOS:
*You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP:
*Directions: Use like regular soap.

FROZEN DINNER SERVING SUGGESTION:
*Defrost.

ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX:
*Fits one head.

ON TESCO'S TIRIMISU DESERT:
*Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)

ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING:
*Product will be hot after heating.

ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON:
*Do not Iron clothes on body.

ON BOOTS CHILDRENS COUGH MEDICINE:
*Do not drive car or operate machinery.

ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID):
*Warning: May cause drowsiness.

ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE:
*Warning: Keep out of children.

ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS:
*For indoor or outdoor use only.

ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR:
*Not to be used for the other use.

ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS:
*Warning: contains nuts

ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS:
*Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW:
*Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

Source (http://www.documentingreality.com/forum/f26/actual-product-instructions-10503/) :biggrin:

KalPenn
18.04.09, 00:07
:5585: Silly instructions the chinese lights made me lol

Kyllyee
26.04.09, 06:13
Thank you for this. I was in a laughing fit for a while because of this:


ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS:
*Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

Who knew people didn't know how to eat nuts.

anon
26.04.09, 17:39
Who knew people didn't know how to eat nuts.

And it still doesn't tell you how to eat them anyway. :biggrin:

SealLion
27.04.09, 00:15
I got a whole bunch of questions now:

When I buy Dial Soap, how do I use it if I've never used any other 'regular soap' before??

Also, when in the grocery isle and I see a bag of Fritos and it says that there's a contest of some sort and I don't want to buy the bag, does it mean that I can just tear every single bag open, look inside for the details and some contest code and enter what-ever contest it's about??


No seriously now....you know I think that companies must think that their consumers are rock hard stupid. I mean dehydrated rock hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know.

anon
27.04.09, 00:18
No seriously now....you know I think that companies must think that their consumers are rock hard stupid. I mean dehydrated rock hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know.

You never know... there's people for everything :klatsch_3:

sten
27.04.09, 02:10
'for indoor or outdoor use only' maybe they dont want u to be using it half in half out :P

anon
27.04.09, 16:40
Interesting theory... :wink:

SealLion
28.04.09, 06:28
you know I had to go back to this thread and re-read some of the silly instructions and I was reading this:


ON TESCO'S TIRIMISU DESERT:
*Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)

I LOL'd at that one. I was imagining some person turning the cake actually upside down and seeing what's printed on the bottom and 'whooops', OH-uh. :eek:.....look what I did?' Dummy!!!:rolling_eyes:

LOL. That's kind of funny actually.

Actually, it'd be more funny that the cake would come out of it's plastic packaging and make a splash on the person's head. KInd of like some new head-wear or something.

anon
28.04.09, 20:46
I LOL'd at that one. I was imagining some person turning the cake actually upside down and seeing what's printed on the bottom and 'whooops', OH-uh. .....look what I did?' Dummy!!!

If you raise the cake (!) above you you could see its bottom without turning it upside down. :tongue: