At this point and after several rants from me, I assume everyone is aware of the pitfalls and either accepts the risk or doesn't care But self-hosting on a home server is an interesting idea.
Since he mentioned doing this with MS Access years ago, I assumed using a "regular" database was off the table for some reason...as to Master Razor's problem, one solution to what you want is sqlite. encrypt the database file or put it on an encrypted partition or similar and use an sqlite gui as client. that way you can have the exact table/field structure you want and performance shouldn't be an issue either.
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