Apparently, these are actual headlines from different newspapers... some make you wonder whether they did it on purpose or just weren't aware of alternate interpretations...
Midget sues grocer, cites belittling remarks
Funeral Homes Bring Cheer To Senior Citizens
House Republicans are split on whether they're divided
Diana was still alive hours before she died
Porn star sues over rear-end collision
Scott wants head job
Sewage spill kills fish, but water safe to drink
'Sex' teacher gets off
Tight end returns after colon surgery
Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25
Psychics predict world didn't end yesterday
One-armed man applauds the kindness of strangers
Homeless man under house arrest
Fish need water, Feds say
Security firm loses Oakland airport
Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons
Student excited dad got head job
Police: Crack Found in Man's Buttocks
Caskets found as workers demolish mausoleum
Alton attorney accidentally sues himself
A-Rod goes deep, Wang hurt
World Bank says poor need more money
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
7-Day Diarrhea Runs Through Bay County
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Barbershop singers bring joy to school for the deaf
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Anthony's Dry Cleaners Has Been Working on the Same Spot for 15 Years!
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
One in For Kids Drops Out of High School
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Miracle cure kills fifth patient
Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Lawyers back despite use of bug spray
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Berkley Turns Blind Ear to Finance Committee
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Bridges help people cross rivers
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Experts say death by firing squad isn't that bad
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Native American Students Well Endowed
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Cop Makes Arrest in Bathroom After Smelling Crack
Affordable housing too expensive, says councillor
Most doctors agree that breathing regularly is good for you
Senior luncheon will no longer include lunch
Laxatives helps remove earwax
MSI owner denies lying, admits not telling truth
Hospitals resort to hiring doctors
Slowdown continues to accelerate
Cows lose their jobs as milk prices drop
Turkeys, manure pass through the senate
Animal-rights group to hold meeting at steakhouse
Man competent enough to be declared insane
Veterans of the Civil War Seeking New Members
Chicken Manure Is Not Quite The Cure For Chapped Lips
City plan to be more open kept secret
Poverty meeting attracts poor turnout
Warmer weather may make snow disappear
Forecasts call for warmer or cooler weather
Top secret mission to launch Tuesday
East Tennessee aglow over growth in nuclear jobs
Local children are winners at dog show
Use clothing to keep warm in winter
52 foot officers to patrol violent neighborhoods
Worker suffers leg pain after crane drops 800-pound ball on his head
Students Cook & Serve Grandparents
Homicide victims rarely talk to police
Missing teen found in Colon
Gas company behind bean supper
New sick policy requires 2-day notice
Volunteerism should be made mandatory
City unsure why sewer smells
Breathing oxygen linked to staying alive
Governor will help people with gas
Total lunar eclipse will be broadcast live on Northwood Public Radio
Pilots with DWIs more likely to crash
Kayaking is hard when the water is frozen
Man with 8 DUIs blames drinking problem
Planes forced to land at airports
Seeing worms after bowel movement bad way to start day
Starvation can lead to health hazards
The bra celebrates a pair of historic milestones this year
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