I feel like I'm about as fucked up as [REDACTED], but have the ability to interact with people normally so almost no one knows this.
It's like: yes, you're a shitty, awful depraved human being and always will be, but that's internally true. The world can only judge what you show it.
I was a boring 21-year-old virgin. Then I started drinking, going to bars and parties, socializing even when it was uncomfortable. Then uncomfortable became 'normal,' became whatever. I fucked a fat bitch with herpes, but I didn't catch it, thank God, and suddenly I was a 21 year old, full stop. And having been really pathetic didn't matter any more.
I'm still a pedophile, I still really want to rape and butcher young women and children. But I have a job, and a life, and I have threesomes and orgies and brutal S&M sex instead. And that's enough, because it has to be enough or else I go to prison for the rest of my life until someone kills me there.
I lost my train of that but I think my only point was, it doesn't matter how pathetic your life is or what you are. All the matters is what you can pretend to be, because that's reality to the rest of the world except you.
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