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Thread: 2001: USA invades Argentina

  1. #1
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    Wink 2001: USA invades Argentina

    ...or they attempt to, anyway.

    Day 1
    An army of Yank warships arrives at Río de la Plata. Several crash and sink the second they enter our territorial waters: the dredging company hadn't worked for two months because the Argentine government refused to pay the subsidies promised in the privatization contracts.

    Day 2
    They begin bombarding Buenos Aires' downtown area. They go virtually unnoticed. Bombs drop on buildings like the (former) Casa Cuna and Rawson hospitals, etc. The ones falling on streets get lost among the road bumps and repair works the mayor of Buenos Aires started right before the elections. Several targeting issues are caused by streets having undergone name changes.

    Day 3
    Navy SEALs disembark at Berisso. They cannot advance because they had pesos on them, but road toll booths will only accept Patacón bonds.

    Day 4
    Several downs among the marines. There is no direct warfare, but this city isn't for everyone: thugs, gangbangers, pickets, lootings, etc.

    Day 5
    US tanks and missile launchers disappear. Parts of these are rumored to be found at chop shops on Warnes street.

    Day 6
    Green Berets make their first raids on the city. They attack communication hotspots. They destroy Canal 7, 9, 11 and 13. The general populace cheers.

    Day 7
    As part of military logistics, the invading troops seize food for their own consumption. Several food poisonings are caused by spoiled cheese, mystery meat and various genetically-modified crops; numerous downs among the invaders.

    Day 8
    Operations are suspended for climatic reasons: after 30mm of rain, the city ended up completely flooded. Their tanks and vehicles are completely soaked, won't startup, and are taken away by the stream.

    Day 9
    Winning hearts and minds: the invaders start distributing supplies among the people. This must be suspended because Argentines demand that "the yankees" also deal out welfare plans with minimal requirements.

    Day 10
    They demand the Argentine surrender. It is rejected because they failed to deliver it in three copies, signatures were not authenticated by a public scribe, a tax stamp was missing, and the corresponding office only works on even days of odd months during hours that are a multiple of three.

    Day 11
    Operations are suspended once again: the US commander became the target of an express kidnapping. Proofs of life are requested. A ransom is agreed.

    Day 12
    They release the commander on the corner of Panamericana and Márquez. They cannot return to the command center because pickets are blocking the General Paz avenue.

    Day 13
    Without the commander, suffering from food poisoning, wet and ripped off, they try to get back on their ships to return to the United States. They cannot find them, because they had left them at the Riachuelo and the extreme pollution dissolved them. Unconditional surrender from the USA.
    "Come visit sometime, okay? We'll always be here for you. We... we all love you."
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  2. Who Said Thanks:

    Cheatness (23.08.15)

  3. #2
    It is rejected because they failed to deliver it in three copies, signatures were not authenticated by a public scribe, a tax stamp was missing, and the corresponding office only works on even days of odd months during hours that are a multiple of three.
    bureaucracy all the way

    2020: USA invades the World (coming soon)
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