"Member vs Registered User" v2

[slikrapid]

so how to live in a society that is inconscious in a mather of speaking

by practicing the following:
- accepting the society as it currently is (accepting reality)
- accepting your current situation as it is (accepting reality, whatever currently happens to you is also that which you're currently ready for)
- sticking to your own beliefs (though open to new insight), living according to your beliefs
- aspiring towards higher goals (beyond materialism or at least towards an ethical/moral usage thereof)
- maintaining & improving own spirituality (spiritually growing up, searching for the true self)
- having a goal-oriented pro-active approach (do something about your situation, as opposed to waiting, stagnation or passivity)
- leading by example ('be the change that you wish to see in the world' or a variation: 'be the change that you wish to see in yourself')
- don't rush things or be impatient (you have all the time you need to fulfill your true goals), don't worry, fear not (it is impossible to lose, it is possible to choose a more difficult road towards victory)
- remember: when you become ready for a better insight, it will arrive (the result: increasing your level of awareness/consciousness)
- observe, contemplate, meditate, be positive/optimistic (believe in your true self, believe in your self, believe in yourself, be & live your self)
- choosing non-violence (or more correctly: ahimsa) is preferable but depends on the situation
...

or if you want a simple, yet effective solution: meditate every day (30-60 minutes per day)
or if all this is too complicated, simply live your life (this is the more difficult road towards victory mentioned above)

in a position of loneliness with 9 billion people around me

as for the topic of loneliness, see this post:

http://www.sb-innovation.de/showthre...=13#post332129

Fun 'gossip' doesn't have to turn into an analysis of life every time

analysis of life can be fun too, not to mention inspiring

[Sazzy]

analysis of life can be fun too, not to mention inspiring

I'm not feeling very inspired :T

[slikrapid]

I'm not feeling very inspired

so do something about it Saz, change your attitude (towards positivity), change your behavior, analyze your situation (try to find the source/reason for that bad mood), change your approach ('If the mountain won't come to Muhammad then Muhammad must go to the mountain'), surprise yourself (get some of that chocolate mint or smth.), think outside the box, get creative, look where you haven't looked before, if you don't like analysis do synthesis, open up to it, get those intuitive juices going, etc.

[anon]

There's a lot of truth in this comic.

When you go to school, you're clustered five days a week with people who are the same age as you and presumably have at least some common ground with. So it's easy to make friends and keep them, because you're seeing each other all the time.

Afterwards, not so much. You lose that and things become harder. Some of them you lose contact with forever, because apparently life took both of you through different ways. Others remain, but it's harder to get in touch.

I only have a few friends, and they are the ones I went to school with. It's a tight group, but they're all busy with college, work (as am I) or both, so having our schedules match and meeting up is a small miracle - last Saturday I saw one of them for the first time this year! There are also some people at work whom I may consider friends, but it's a different kind of friendship... you can't ask them to go out or do stuff together, the age difference makes it too weird.

Come to think of it, I don't think I know how you're supposed to meet new people at this point.

[slikrapid]

@sarah andersen:

pssst! that other 'friend' dressed in white! (which seems to be somewhat complementary, and having something to fill that cup hehe)

who are the same age as you and presumably have at least some common ground with.

they are humans too? plenty of common themes to cover, if they bother to give it a try (or keep at it), that is

so having our schedules match and meeting up is a small miracle

again, where there is will, there is a way (though results may vary)

you can't ask them to go out or do stuff together, the age difference makes it too weird.

if 2 is weird, then 3 or 4 or even more (party) won't be as much

Come to think of it, I don't think I know how you're supposed to meet new people at this point.

don't see the problem, if you want to meet (new) people, all it takes is to go anywhere you like and start a (spontaneous) conversation

[anon]

don't see the problem, if you want to meet (new) people, all it takes is to go anywhere you like and start a (spontaneous) conversation

Yeah, I guess the success rate for randomly talking to strangers is nonzero

[slikrapid]

Yeah, I guess the success rate for randomly talking to strangers is nonzero

depending on conditions at hand and how you calculate, your guess may vary
the success rate of things you need to do or experience in your life is 100%, of those you don't is 0%, simple to calculate and amazing accuracy achieved

[fraudman]

how much years i need to wait to get access to member title :(

[anon]

how much years i need to wait to get access to member title :(

Well, your nickname disqualifies you for automatic promotion by sending me some nude pics, so I'll have to recommend hard work and perseverance

[anon]

Some background information first.

• He met this girl during the summer break (January-Febrary).
• Until today, it was super rare for me to cross paths with the guy, which happened all the time last year. He always left earlier or skipped work entirely just to be with her.
• I only know her from pictures and having seen her once when she dropped by our office, so basically not at all.
• He told me he inherited a pretty big house from one of his grandparents and they were planning to live there together after some necessary repair work that will be done by the end of this year.
• They're super cool with each other's parents (as far as I've been told).

Today he asked to walk home with me, which I found strange because no one ever does, and soon the reason became obvious. Out of the blue he told me how he misses the freedom of his "old life" (before being in a relationship) and how he's at a loss as to what to do now. The phrase "I can't just walk to her and say it's over" was thrown around, so it seems he's at least entertaining the idea of a breakup.

Now, I know that biochemically speaking love is a hard drug and the withdrawal effect after attenuation kicks in can hit like a ton of bricks, but besides that, I'm hardly qualified to offer any useful feedback. This eventually became obvious and I cracked under the pressure and told him just that; he was not offended but I'd like to be a bit more helpful, and I'm still at time to send a e-mail saying "sorry about before, here's some thoughts".

So, what should I say?

(After sending the message, I'll move this and all replies to our official thread about dating and relationships - http://www.sb-innovation.de/showthread.php?t=32138)

[anthony-joal]

You can be in a relationship without spending all you time with you gf imo.
Maybe he can talk to her to say that he needs to spend some time with friends, it's not a big deal sh should understand if he explain that properly (if he dont she'll start to freak the hell out through....)

Anyway, if i were you i would discuss that around a beer (beer is awesome) especially if you used to be good friends before he met her. You could ask why he feels like that and try to figure out what yiu would have done in such a case

[slikrapid]

Out of the blue he told me how he misses the freedom of his "old life" (before being in a relationship) and how he's at a loss as to what to do now. The phrase "I can't just walk to her and say it's over" was thrown around, so it seems he's at least entertaining the idea of a breakup.

a change of old ways is to be expected
you'd need more information on what exactly does he miss and why would it be difficult to find a compromise in terms of time/frequency/activity
the breakup idea suggests it is not a minor thing or that he is overreacting or that he expects her to overreact

I'm hardly qualified to offer any useful feedback.

you're still enjoying your 'old life', so you can speak of how (you think) you'd feel if you had to choose to abandon or lessen some of your (favorite) old life activities
as an outsider to their relationship, you could have a fresh view on things

So, what should I say?

it depends on how much do you want to get involved

[anon]

it depends on how much do you want to get involved

Well, I want to do a bit more than a pat in the back and "I'm sure you'll figure it out". Ultimately, it's his/their battle to fight, though.

Anyway, I faced him about this yesterday (it seemed better than an e-mail), asked how things were and told him everything you've told me. He says it was a temporary lapse and he's feeling much better now. So it's either that or things are the same/worse and he didn't want to talk about it anymore. We'll see.

[anon]

Apparently his girlfriend has college classes during the afternoon now, so there's a valid, non-offensive reason for him to do other stuff instead. Problem solved?

[Master Razor]

Since we're talking about crap... (I'll return with a proper commet)
Until then:

I artichoked a ukulele hamster!

I was so happy here. My life is going down the drain man.