Things we learn from porn
- Nurses suck off their patients.
- The average penis is ten inches long.
- Ten seconds of cunnilingus are more than enough.
- Impotence? Premature ejaculation? What's that?
- If a stranger catches a woman masturbating, not only does she not start shouting, but insists to have sex with him.
- Women smile happily when men fill their faces with cum.
- Women love to get in bed with ugly, middle-aged men.
- Women scream uncontrollably when they suck it.
- A blowjob always saves a woman from a speeding ticket.
- After orgasm, it's important to tap a woman's butt or face with your semi-limp penis.
- Men always say "oh yeah" when they cum.
- Double penetration makes women smile.
- Asian males do not exist.
- If you catch a guy and his girlfriend on the job, he doesn't punch you in the face when you stick your penis in her mouth.
- If a woman finds you in bed with her best friend, she gets a little angry, but ends up joining you two.
- Women don't know what a headache is, let alone "that time of the month".
- Asses are always squeaky-clean and have no hair.
- Women always look pleasantly surprised when they unzip a man's pants and find (oh, surprise!) a dick!