❀ღღ❀ God Bless Women..❀ღღ❀

[Dark Knight]

A Woman was out strolling down in a park and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you,!!"

But I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.


Whatever you wish for, your husband will get tenfold!

The woman said, "That`s okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, and women all over will flock to".

The woman replied,..."That`s okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."

So, KAZAM-she`s the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you. "
The woman said, "That`s okay, because what`s mine is his and what`s his is mine."

So, KAZAM-she`s the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquires about her third wish, and she answers, "I`d like a mild heart attack."



[FONT="Arial Black"]
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don`t mess with them.


Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers: Please scroll down.
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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!:biggrin:
[FONT="Microsoft Sans Serif"]Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they`re really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show


PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!

---------- Post added at 06:55 ---------- Previous post was at 06:52 ----------


Husband (Returns late from work ):

"Good Evening Dear, I`m now logged in."

Wife: Have you brought the grocery?
Husband: Bad command or filename.

Wife: What about my new TV?
Husband: Variable not found...

Wife: At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.
Husband: Sharing Violation. Access denied...

Wife: Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny ?
Husband: Too many parameters...

Wife: It was a great mistake that I married an idiot like you.
Husband: Data type mismatch.

Wife: You are a useless nut.
Husband: By Default

Wife: What about your Salary?
Husband: File in use... Try after some time.

Wife: Who was in the car this morning?
Husband: System is unstable. Press CTRL + ALT + DEL to Reboot.

Wife: Are you going to drink some wine?
Husband: File system is full.

Wife: What is my value in the family ?
Husband: Unknown Virus.

[Blocker]

LOL

:tongue:

Great jokes

The second is a good geek's joke

[Dynamic]

I like this one the best! :top:


Getting Out of a Ticket

A man in his 40's bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up.

As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.

"There's no way they can catch a BMW," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.... Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What the hell am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.

"It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."

The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back."

"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.

[nextor]

Ye, great fun.

I really have to agree with the thread topic though: God bless women.... what in the world would we men do without them? <3

[SBfreak]

I really have to agree with the thread topic though: God bless women.... what in the world would we men do without them? <3

I don't think we wanna think about that don't we?:frown:

[Dark Knight]

What is the difference between girl age ?

8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68?


At 8 - You take her to bed
and tell her a story.

At 18 - You tell her a story
and take her to bed.

At 28 - You don't need to tell her a story
to take her to bed.

At 38 - She tells you a story
and takes you to bed.

At 48 - You tell her a story
to avoid going to bed.

At 58 - You stay in bed
to avoid her story.

At 68 - If you take her to bed,
that'll be a story!! lol....smile_rofl_2:

[DriftKing]

At 68 - If you take her to bed,
that'll be a story!! lol

:biggrin: This will be really a big story if you take her to bad at 68 !!:eek3:

[.anakin.]

wehehehehe:) good jokes man, the geek one and the ages... thx

[Hellboy]

Very Good jokes,keep them coming:biggrin:

[Dark Knight]

How Guys select the girl they want to marry.....

A man is dating 3 women and wants to decide
which to marry.

He decides to give them a test. He gives each
woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what they do with the
money.

The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon,
and dresses up very nicely for the man.
She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him
because
she loves him so much.

The man is impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts.
She gets him a new set of STRONG golf clubs, some
new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she
presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on
him
because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market.

She earns several times the $5000. She gives him
back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account.

She tells him that she wants to save for their
future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each
woman had done with the money.

Guess which lady he chose to marry?
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He married the most beautiful one!!!!!!:tongue:
> > > >

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because, Men will always be Men,!!!:biggrin:

---------- Post added at 23:09 ---------- Previous post was at 22:56 ----------

Some More Jokes related Marriages......:top:


---------------

Police arrested a drunkard & askd: Where r u going?

Man: I'm going 2 listen lecture on ill effects of drinking.

Cop: Who'll lecture at midnight ?

Man: My wife...

---------------

Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.

After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll
kill u.


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -


Man: Is there any way for long life?

Dr: Get married.

Man: Will it help?

Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -


What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win
in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand?

Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?


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Q: Why do women live longer than men?

A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

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Wats the diff between Complete & Finished?

If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.

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So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a
building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow and sure!


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -


Have u heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of crocodiles?
He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel to the
crocodiles.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Two men r talking. 1st: I got married coz I was tired of eating out,
cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes.

2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -


Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what
will you pay me?

Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.

[Hellboy]

Original joke has been copied from here:
God Bless Women.. (http://www.indiabroadband.net/jokes-humor/18582-god-bless-women.html)
-I was highly disappointed when i saw you copying jokes from other sites.
-Why you dont give the links from where you copy the jokes:mad2:

[Dark Knight]

lol..even it Has not been copied from here...Also i Dont make jokes...lol
Neither Does Any1 Else here........:biggrin:

[Hellboy]

lol..even it Has not been copied from here...Also i Dont make jokes...lol
Neither Does Any1 Else here........:biggrin:
:Lets_do_it_wild: I am your old friend Dark Knight...
Pm'ed you from gmail:biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:

[Dark Knight]

Some More Jokes.......

This is absolutely correct….
(Three answers most feared by men)

1. (Whatever)
Men: What to have for dinner?
Women: Whatever..
Men: Why not we have steamboat?
Women: Don't want, eat steamboat later got pimples in my face
Men: Alright, why not we have Si Chuan cuisine
Women: Yesterday ate Si Chuan, today eat again?
Men: Hmm..... I suggest we have seafood
Women: Seafood no good, later I got diarrhea
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women : Whatever..


2. (Anything)
Men: So what should we do now?
Women: Anything
Men: How about watching movie? Long time we didn't watch movie
Women: Watching movie no good, waste time only
Men: How about we play bowling, do some exercises?
Women: Exercise in such hot day? You not feel tire meh?
Men: Then find a café and have drink
Women: Drink coffee will affect my sleep
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: Anything

3. (You decide)
Men: Then we just go home
Women: You decide
Men: Let take bus, I will accompany you
Women: Bus is dirty and crowded. Don't want
Men: Ok we will take Taxi
Women: Not worth it... for such a short distance
Men: Alright, then we walk. Take a slow walk
Women: What to walk with empty stomach woh?
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: You decide :tongue:

---------- Post added at 22:32 ---------- Previous post was at 21:59 ----------

Don't Mess with Older Women!!!!!!!!
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: "Is there a problem, Officer?"

Officer: "Ma'am, you were speeding."
Older Woman: "Oh, I see."

Officer: "Can I see your license please?"

Older Woman: "I'd give it to you but I don't have one."

Officer: "Don't have one? "

Older Woman: "Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. "

Officer: "I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. "

Older Woman: "I can't do that. "

Officer: "Why not? "

Older Woman: "I stole this car. "

Officer: "Stole it? "

Older Woman: "Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner."

Officer: "You what? "

Older Woman: "His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see."

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: "Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!" The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: "Is there a problem sir?"

Officer 2: "One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner."

Older Woman: "Murdered the owner? "

Officer 2: "Yes, would you open the trunk of your car, please."

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: "Is this your car, ma'am?"

Older Woman: "Yes, here are the registration papers." The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: "One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license."

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a driver's license and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: "Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner."

Older Woman: "Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too."

MORAL:


Don't Mess With Little Old Ladies[COLOR="Silver"]

Another One.........

The Most Important Discoveries

Man discovered weapons, invented hunting.
Woman discovered hunting, invented furs.

Man discovered colors, invented painting.
Woman discovered painting, invented make-up.

Man discovered speech, invented conversation.
Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip.

Man discovered agriculture, invented food.
Woman discovered food, invented diet.

Man discovered friendship, invented love.
Woman discovered love, invented marriage.

Man discovered trade, invented money.
Woman discovered money, man has never recovered

[divlord]

good ones.